MANAGEMENT OF MARITAL CRISIS Bootcamp organised by Quantum Leap Consulting .May 9,2020 10am.300+ Participants

[5/9, 10:12] @doctormichaels: *INTRODUCTION* 

    Almost,3 decades ago,my father left the house,leaving us with our mum.Of course that devastated me and almost destroyed my life.This is not our focus today. For many years I have always asked why my father left us making me vulnerable to all kinds of suffering,trust issues etc and I never got the answer. My mum told me he is/was a good man at the beginning of their marriage but something happened after some years into marriage.That question (why did he leave ?)hunted me for many years. Then suddenly,I got the answer to my question.I got to know why he left getting married to other women.

Give me 10 emojis if you want to also know why ?

 [5/9, 10:14] Participant: Wow, got married to another🤦🏽‍♂

 [5/9, 10:14] Participant: 😳 [5/9, 10:14] 

@doctormichaels: Yes many women.

 [5/9, 10:15] Participant: 💋 [5/9, 10:15] 

@doctormichaels: 8 more [5/9, 10:15] 

Participant: 🥳 

[5/9, 10:15] 

Participant: 💥 [5/9, 10:16]

 @doctormichaels: 6 more [5/9, 10:16] 

Participant: 🥺 [5/9, 10:16] 

@doctormichaels: 5more [5/9, 10:21] 

@doctormichaels:

     He left not because he was from a polygamous family.

   Many are from polygamous families but they are with the love of their lives. He left not because he was a Playboy.

     There are many play boys still with their loved ones. He left not because he is a party boy.Many are party people but they are still with their wives. He left not because he had weaknesses.Many had worse weaknesses but they are still with their spo

uses . He left not because he was a womanizer.There are many womanizers who are still with their with spouses

 [5/9, 10:21] Participant: 

[5/9, 10:22] 

@doctormichaels: 

    I want you to imagine you and I having a one on one chat in one of the therapy session rooms of Quantum Leap Consulting,you can pass any comment at any point in time.You can stop me to ask a question.Please feel free. 

     The reason for my father leaving had nothing to do with his financial issues or the complaints he had about my mother. The reason has everything to do with his life purpose.

 [5/9, 10:24] Participant: His life?? 

[5/9, 10:24] @doctormichaels: His purpose was to help restore many homes but he went about asking the wrong questions. [5/9, 10:25] 

@doctormichaels: For mum.She has a good heart and fears God.So I wondered how such a woman could have said yes to that kind of man. I was confused for years until I got this answer.

 [5/9, 10:26] Participant: Questions like? 

[5/9, 10:27] Participant: 👍 

[5/9, 10:28] @doctormichaels: Questions like,why did I marry this woman?etc  

    For my mother,she married this man because the Creator felt He wanted unique children that fear God to be born and also a particular boy that will help restore broken,messed up marriages together to be born(that is me😀🤦🏻‍♂️) 

[5/9, 10:28] Participant: Smile

 [5/9, 10:29] @doctormichaels: So He(God) allowed her to say yes to him that he may fulfil his life purpose while also give birth to me. [5/9, 10:29] Participant: 😳

 [5/9, 10:29] @doctormichaels: Ladies and gentlemen,

 [5/9, 10:29] @doctormichaels: I am so sure everyone on this page has a serious pain he/she is nursing secretly. Pains that he/she can't share with anyone.

 [5/9, 10:30] Participant: 👍 

[5/9, 10:30] @doctormichaels: Pain that has damaged our self esteem and confidence as well as self-worth.

 [5/9, 10:30] Participant: Sir 

[5/9, 10:30] @doctormichaels: We keep waking up to each day,confused but not sure of the reason for our living. There is a reason why we said yes that guy. There is a reason we got married to that play boy or slayqueen,who left us at the middle of the road. There is a reason why we got married to this stranger that we barely know. We thought we knew them! We were so sure we knew everything about them. 

[5/9, 10:33] Participant: Very true [5/9, 10:33] 

@doctormichaels:Suddenly after getting married or immediately we started the relationship, we got the shocker of our lives. 

[5/9, 10:34] Participant: Hmmmm 

[5/9, 10:34] @doctormichaels: Yes! Yes!We saw the so many red flags. Some were very obvious while others weren't that obvious but we kept on telling ourselves that no,we didn't assess well Or no the person will change but the rest like they say is history. We have been hospitalized several times because of this same so-called lover spouse who swept us off our feet when we were dating 

[5/9, 10:36] Participant: Hmmm

 [5/9, 10:36] @doctormichaels: We were so much in love to the point where we became the talk of the whole town and school.Oh!It was love at first sight.We couldnt take our eyes off each other and neither could we take our hands off each other.Lest I forget.We had sex several times.It was super hawt.We kept on fantasying on how it was going to be like when we get married. A time where we start having sex legally.Hmmm.The wedding was fantastic but after few days,months, years etc i started seeing things that shocked me.Many of us suffered a lot of nervous breakdown due to the disappointments

 [5/9, 10:40] Participant: Hmnhmn 

[5/9, 10:40] @doctormichaels: We were beaten several times like children.We were slapped on a daily basis.We had wounds,bruises all over our bodies.We had to use make up to make up our faces. Oh! We cried. And cried. Prayed. Fasted unending. We consulted a lot of clergymen. 

[5/9, 10:41] Participant: I am following you like morning fly o..... 😀

 [5/9, 10:42] @doctormichaels: We visited several traditional homes Guess what! The problem increased/worsened. 

[5/9, 10:42] Participant: What sir 

[5/9, 10:42] @doctormichaels: The cheating increased.

 [5/9, 10:42] Participant: Hmmm

 [5/9, 10:42] @doctormichaels: The beating increased.

 [5/9, 10:43) Participant: Hmnhmn

 [5/9, 10:43] Participant: Hnmmmmm 

[5/9, 10:43] @doctormichaels: The verbal,sexual,physical abuse underwent exponential growth.It moved from one level to another.Did I tell you? The wounds were not only physical.

 [5/9, 10:43] Participant: 😰😰

 [5/9, 10:43] @doctormichaels: They were also mental,psychological 

[5/9, 10:43] Participant: Hmmm plenty of it 

[5/9, 10:44] @doctormichaels: No one to call.We thought leaving our uncaring parents was the best thing to do.Infact,immediately we say our spouses we jumped at them.They counselled us.Oh,during those lonely moments with our abusive uncaring parents,he or she was there for us.Everyone who knew us said, It was a marriage made in heaven.Hmmm. 

[5/9, 10:46] Participant: Suffering in silence 

[5/9, 10:46] @doctormichaels: But who would I talk to about the pains I go through behind the curtain. 

[5/9, 10:46] Participant: Hun

 [5/9, 10:46] @doctormichaels: The pains were so much,we didn't want to go home again after working hours.We became addicted to our work.We stayed long into the night at our workplaces. We get home just immediately after the bed time of our spouses.Hmmm.If anyone,I mean anyone, had told me that this was what marriage is all about, I would never have gotten married I would have preferred to have baby mamas. Or baby papas Hmmm 

[5/9, 10:49] Participant: Humnnn 

[5/9, 10:49] @doctormichaels: How I wish I listened to my caring mother or friends

 [5/9, 10:49] Participant: Hmnnn 

[5/9, 10:49] @doctormichaels: They told me this guy or this lady will soon show me his or her true colors But I ignored. Yes ofcourse I was in love. Hmmm I Couldnt go home again,at least early enough. I stayed back chatting with a girl or guy i met at the bar last week. Wow! He or she made me laugh. Always there for me. I even employed the help of sex workers both male and female. Since our sex life was zero. Our communication is next to nothing. Hmmm So God! Why me ? Am I communicating? 

[5/9, 10:52] Participant: Hummmm 

[5/9, 10:52] Participant: Yes ooo 

[5/9, 10:52] Participant: Yes sir

 [5/9, 10:52] Participant: You are talking real life issues 👏🏻👏🏻

 [5/9, 10:52] Participant: absolutely 

[5/9, 10:52] @doctormichaels: I should have said yes to that guy or girl. 

[5/9, 10:53) Participant: Yeah

 [5/9, 10:53] @doctormichaels: I should have waited. Chai! 

[5/9, 10:53] @doctormichaels: Why did I rush Goddddddddd! 

[5/9, 10:53] Participant: Hmn 

[5/9, 10:53] @doctormichaels: Why didn't you call my attention to those red flags? Even if I wasn't listening,you should have done something! Why did you allow me to make such a grave mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life 

[5/9, 10:54) Participant: Hmmmmmmm

 [5/9, 10:54] Participant: Yes oooo 

[5/9, 10:54] @doctormichaels: But I served you.In fact

 [5/9, 10:54] Participant: Lived with that for a long time 

[5/9, 10:54] @doctormichaels: You and I spoke on the wedding day when I prayed.But you didn't tell me it was a wrong decision and neither did you alert me. You assured me. Or at least I had peace of mind throughout our 5-year relationship. Goddddd! If you had told me,I would have called off the wedding. Chai! I trusted you! But God,you failed me! 

[5/9, 10:56] Participant: Hmmmmmm 

[5/9, 10:56] @doctormichaels: You pushed me into the fire Chai! You knew! Yes you knew! You are the all knowing God. But you didn't tell. Why are you silent ooooooh Goddddd. Why have you forsaken. Why have you deceived me into entering a lion's den. 

[5/9, 10:57] Participant: This is so touching. 

[5/9, 10:57] @doctormichaels: Hmmmmm When I see our children, I cry. Can't even discuss with my family members. Chai! I have considered suicide Taking my life I have considered running away.

 [5/9, 10:58] Participant: Hmmm Deep! 

[5/9, 10:58] Participant: Hmmmm

 [5/9, 10:58] @doctormichaels: I have considered killing my spouse I have considered killing both of us With poison at least. I have considered killing our children too. So that they don't get to experience the deep dangerous psychological trauma that children of dysfunctional homes go through. They said I am barren They said I have been wayward and hence cannot give birth. Hmmm Who do I talk to? Who can I open up too? My religious institution are not even helping matters They keep on adding salt to injury. Hmmm

 [5/9, 11:01] @doctormichaels: I can never forgive him or her. I will forever remember the pains he or she caused me. My finances went down when I met her or him. Hmm Okay I know what to do. I will stay in this marriage because of our children. I Will have sex with him or her because of our children. But I will enjoy myself also. Where is that number that that young lady or young man gave me? I really need to enjoy myself too Ladies and gentlemen, These are not made up stories These are real stories that I know of And have had therapy sessions for Yes! 

[5/9, 11:05] Participant: Jesu 

[5/9, 11:05] @doctormichaels: Combination of many real life stories of my clients I have a truth to share with you this morning That truth is this,"You did not make a mistake !" Should I say that again? I can say it one million times. You did not make a mistake marrying that person Believe me. Trust me. 

[5/9, 11:07] Participant: Hmmm

 [5/9, 11:07] @doctormichaels: I know what I'm talking about Yes I know your pains. They are very true and real 

 [5/9, 11:07] Participant: Hmmm 

[5/9, 11:08] @doctormichaels: The truth is that there are no mistakes or coincidences or accidents in real life They only exist on paper. God never lied to you. 

    No matter how smart you were or are. You will still have made the same decision over and over again Why ? Because there is a deeper agenda.

     Ladies and gentlemen, We need to accept this fact that we were not created to get married or have children primarily. 

    Neither were we created to have sex primarily. Yes they are part of the secondary purpose why we came. But there is a primary purpose why we came. There is a reason why certain things have worked for us.

 [5/9, 11:11] Participant: Ah

 [5/9, 11:11] @doctormichaels: and why certain things have worked against us or did not work 

5/9, 11:12] Participant: I didn't even feel like that , I felt I failed God by not listening or inviting him hmmmmm but I thank God for my life cause it would have costed me my life hmmmm 

[5/9, 11:12] @doctormichaels: There is a reason why we keep on having repeated patterns of stubborn recurrent life problems that have refused to let us go despite all we have done to deal with it Okay ma.Thank you There is only one simple explanation for all that has happened so far.Some you can explain,while some are mysterious 

[5/9, 11:13] Participant: 🤔🤔🤔

 [5/9, 11:13] Participant: Hmmmmm 

[5/9, 11:13] @doctormichaels: Are you ready to know Why ?

 [5/9, 11:14] Participant: Yes sir 

[5/9, 11:14] Participant: Hmmm

 [5/9, 11:14] Participant: Yes, sir

 [5/9, 11:14] @doctormichaels: It's called the self perpetuating power of a life purpose. Its so powerful that it can make God Almighty look away 

[5/9, 11:15] Participant: what does it mean please?

 [5/9, 11:15] Participant: Yes

 [5/9, 11:16] @doctormichaels: It means our life purpose is so powerful that it literally explains all that has happened to us so far All that is happening to us now And all that will ever happen to to us till we exit this world. It's the reason we lost our job It's the reason she left us It's the reason he left us and divorced us

 [5/9, 11:17] Participant: Hmmm 

[5/9, 11:17] @doctormichaels: It's the reason we entered into that relationship and now we are confused Its the reason we got married going all in trusting blindly It's the reason for the childlessness It's the reason for the extra marital affair we had

 [5/9, 11:18] Participant: Ok 

[5/9, 11:18] Participant: Hmmm.... I totally relate

 [5/9, 11:18] @doctormichaels: Its the reason for the extra marital affair our spouse had It's the reason for that health condition That has refused to go despite all kinds of intervention 

[5/9, 11:19] Participant: 🤔✍️ 

[5/9, 11:20] @doctormichaels: It will not leave us to be at peace in our personal lives and relationship /marriage until we have given it (our life purpose) all the attention it ever needs

 [5/9, 11:20] Participant: Hmmmm 

[5/9, 11:21] @doctormichaels: In fact,things become worse...our spouses continue to torment us...our children continue to get sick etc usually when the timing of the execution our life purpose draws near So don't you think it's time to start asking the right questions And also asking the right person (God and professional) This all important question What Am I doing here on Earth? Or What is my life assignment or purpose Or Why do I act or think the way I do ? 

    Ladies and gentlemen Let me share a fabricated story.

       One day,God was in heaven to get some air (😀).

      Then He saw a lot of women suffering on Earth and saw Mother Therasa who has been helping to empower women But the women or men available to do this work are so few Guess what God did Guess? 

   [5/9, 11:27] Participant: He produced more human to help Madam Therasa 

[5/9, 11:27] Participant: what?

 [5/9, 11:27] Participant: God created me😃 

[5/9, 11:28] @doctormichaels: He looked out for a couple who have issues both personally and maritally.Issues that will provide a very good atmosphere for us to be forced to discover our identity and also ask ourselves that question. What am I doing here on Earth? So he looked for that kind of couple,some troubled ones,and organised our birth into that family The way of God 's thinking is very different

 [5/9, 11:30] Participant: Jeez

 [5/9, 11:31] Participant: He made more help 

[5/9, 11:31] Participant: Obviously! 😳 

[5/9, 11:31] @doctormichaels: The way He sees problems is not the same way we see or have been taught by our environment and parents to see problems He sees life problems as a wonderful gift to the person involved Without life problems we can never be forced to ask that all important question Plus two others

 [5/9, 11:32] Participant: Very very

 [5/9, 11:32] @doctormichaels: Who am i ?

[5/9, 11:32] Participant: Morning,sorry for joining late

 [5/9, 11:32] @doctormichaels: Do I have a future ? How do I explore my future possibilities? So Aisha was born into that home. She had identity crisis She was raped by her father plus her elder brother

 [5/9, 11:33] Participant: Do you agree that people marry wrongly at times?

 [5/9, 11:34] @doctormichaels: Will address this shortly ma

 [5/9, 11:34] Participant: Hmmm 

[5/9, 11:34] @doctormichaels: Then one day She was going to commit suicide When one question keep coming to her mind What is my life assignment? But the more it came,she tried running it off

 [5/9, 11:35] Participant: Gush 

[5/9, 11:35] @doctormichaels: But the intensity of the question increased Her heart starts beating fast 

[5/9, 11:36] Participant What?

 [5/9, 11:36] @doctormichaels: So she stopped the suicide attempt for a while

 [5/9, 11:36] Participant: A while??

 [5/9, 11:36] @doctormichaels: Just to pay attention to this interesting question that has refused to go And caught her attention Then she started to ask herself more questions And she discovers that she has passion for abused girls Then she postponed the suicidal attempt by one more day Then she discovers that there is only one thing that makes her happy 

[5/9, 11:38] Participant: Following keenly 

[5/9, 11:38] @doctormichaels: And that is helping abused girls to be rehabilitated ,healed and never suffer again And also to help girls that have not been abused to be strong enough and not repeat the same" mistakes" that she made Guess what In rounding off There are 4-5steps to managing or solving totally with a lasting solution ...our marital crisis Remember that everyone has a marital life whether the person is in a relationship or nor...whether the person is married or not Whether the person is separated or not from the other spouse Whether or not the person is divorced o We have other departments in our lives too Financial, academic, professional etc

 [5/9, 11:43] Participant:Married to something else apart from spouse you mean? 

[5/9, 11:43] Participant: Like?

 [5/9, 11:43] @doctormichaels: It's interesting to know that there is only one reason why all that we have gone through in all these departments including our marital life regardless of the cause is due to our life purpose Simply because we can't give what we don't have You can't continue to copy and paste other people's material Your life plus all it's pain is a very good raw material to writing and living the best life purpose So here are the 4-5steps Am i communicating? 

[5/9, 11:45] Participant: But can God be so mean as to allow us go through such just because He wants us to fulfill our destiny ?Just thinking aloud 

[5/9, 11:45] @doctormichaels: I'm sorry ma My clients ask me that question a lot In fact some of them would love to slap me or beat me up for saying that Thinking I'm insensitive or that God is insensitive 

[5/9, 11:47] Participant: 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

 [5/9, 11:47] @doctormichaels: The truth is that...God does not "care " 

[5/9, 11:47] Participant: Hmmmm

 [5/9, 11:47] @doctormichaels: What is important to Him is the fulfillment of our life purpose. If we like,we can jump up and down. Cry daily for 365days. Shed bloody tears. He doesn't "care ". He will console us. But He will not back down. Until we ask that all important question. 

      So I have a question for you. Does it really matter what we are expected to do?Isnt all we want is a solution to our lives and marital life? 

      [5/9, 11:50] Participant: Hmmm ... In that case, is there then a chance that the people who hurt is in any of the ways you have described " are fulfilling God's purpose"?

     [5/9, 11:51] @doctormichaels: So if He says He wants us to ask that question and that,that is the only solution to why we are still single or having marital issues....won't you ask Please what will it cost you? 

So number 1 step 1. Ask that all important question

 [5/9, 11:52] Participant: I can imagine 

[5/9, 11:52] Participant: Well, sounds dat way 

[5/9, 11:52] @doctormichaels: Use your passion,what people say about you ,what you do with ease ,the problems you have had as tools in knowing what your life purpose is This is what we call the 4Ps of life purpose discovery 

[5/9, 11:53] Participant: 👍🏽

 [5/9, 11:53] @doctormichaels: *Passion What are you passionate about ? What gets your emotions?

 [5/9, 11:53] Participant: You are not nice, sir🤣

 [5/9, 11:53] @doctormichaels: *Problems What are those recurring problems in our lives 😀 What are those problems that people complain about? Imagine we asking two clients to write out their life problems A wrote 5 problems B wrote 53 problems Guess what The most serious of the two is B.He knows what his problems are

 [5/9, 11:55] Participant: 💯 "Works everything after the counsel of his own will" 

[5/9, 11:55] Participant: As in, what is my life purpose? 

[5/9, 11:55] @doctormichaels: That is the beginning of the healing procees Life purpose is defined as a solution to a particular global problem wrapped up in a person What is that global problem you would love to solve *Past success rate What is that thing that you do with ease and get massive result while other s struggle

 [5/9, 11:58] @doctormichaels: *People What do people say about you? Human beings have spiritual eyes they can see beyond what the physical eyes can see So when they see you,what do they call you? What kind of life problems do they bring to you? 

    STEP 2 

[5/9, 11:59] @doctormichaels: Focus on that life purpose.Focus on it as if all your life depends on it Because you know that whoever jokes with their life purpose is only joking with their lives ,spouse and children Let ask you Why should God keep you alive through this pandemic? Is it so that you can marry?

     [5/9, 12:00] Participant: Chai

 [5/9, 12:01] Participant: Deep

 [5/9, 12:01] @doctormichaels: Is it so that you can have sex at least once so that you can know how it feels like? 

   [5/9, 12:01] Participant: Oh no

 [5/9, 12:01] @doctormichaels: Is it so that you can take care of your wife and children? Is it so that you can make progress I n your academics? And get that Phd? 

[5/9, 12:02) Participant: Hmmmm

 [5/9, 12:02] Participant: No

 [5/9, 12:02] Participant: Jesu 

[5/9, 12:02] Participant: Okay

 [5/9, 12:02] @doctormichaels: The truth is that God will never keep you alive because of any of these things You can quote me anywhere Anytime!

 [5/9, 12:02] Participant: True sir

 [5/9, 12:03] @doctormichaels: God will never keep a bench warmer alive for too long The only reason why you are kept alive is so that you can discover that reason why you were made in the first instance

 [5/9, 12:03] Participant: Chai 

[5/9, 12:03] @doctormichaels: Because you will give account to the Creator 

[5/9, 12:04] Participant: Hmmm

 [5/9, 12:04] Participant: 😬

 [5/9, 12:04] @doctormichaels: God is a bussinessman or woman

 [5/9, 12:04] Participant: 🤔

 [5/9, 12:04] @doctormichaels: He does not waste resources Why should HE prevent that fatal accident Tell me! Why? 

[5/9, 12:04] Participant: Agreed

 [5/9, 12:05] @doctormichaels: Don't forget that those who died were even more serious than you There was a global problem that was why you came You are the answer to a global problem It doesn't matter or depend on the circumstances of your birth or health Everything is a set up The moment we realise and understand that the reason for having this marital crisis has everything to do with our readiness to fulfill our life assignment Our perspective changes.

     Our perspectives and perception about ourselves,spouse, relationship partner,past terrible traumatic childhood and adulthood experiences changes.

     We end up shifting the attention from the offender to ourselves.

    We are forced to look inward searching for where we have missed it and then learning from it.

 STEP 3 

     Understanding the power of timing.

 There is time for everything. Time to prepare and time to manifest or execute the plan.

   We must rely therefore on the power of timing just as eagles rely on the power of the right air current to soar Hence they don't fly like other birds. They soar.

STEP4

    Healing process Healing process has 4steps 

A. Admission

* You will need to admit and accept that all that happened so far truly happened You must not suppress them You must accept the so called mistakes and check again to see which of the responsibilities for the whole issue is yours No matter how insignificant it seems or feels I must confess,my clients really find it difficult but we help them professionally to go through this painful healing process

 B. Delete and replacement therapy 

*This is also where we come in at Quantum Leap Consulting It's a complex procedure to explain.

    But it's based on some concepts 

*The mind is one of the most powerful creatures of God but yet the most gullible 

*The mind does not know how to differentiate a real story from a fake story I guess that was why I cried watching Titanic Please,once again,don't tell any body 😀🤣

 *The mind determines all the events that will take place in our lives,as in,how they will take place

 [5/9, 12:18] Participant: Chai

 [5/9, 12:18] Participant: Hard 

[5/9, 12:18] @doctormichaels: *the mind has two parts the conscious mind (the brain) and the subconscious mind

 [5/9, 12:19] Participant: 🤣

 [5/9, 12:19] @doctormichaels: The subconscious stores all the events that has ever taken place in our lives the good,bad and ugly Plus all the trauma

      That we have even forgotten 

     The mind thus uses this stored information to control our emotions,events in life ,and determines what comes to us the bad,good and ugly 

     So based on all these facts about the mind...

   we at Quantum Leap Consulting developed the delete and replacement therapy...that allows people to go back into their past and undo the past traumatic experiences with all it's negativity and then replace it a fabricated story of their choice which also brings in a good emotional state 

    The truth is that a lot of people,partners and couples are still living in their past subconsciously. 

     And so they can never enter into their future So unless we like or reconcile with our past....we will never be able to enjoy and appreciate our present states with all it's goodies,the nice understanding spouse or partner or our children      

      We will keep on referring to the past subconsciously.

 C. Forgiveness

     As painful as this is, we need to a deliberate ,make a decision and choice to forgive three people. Namely, 

*Ourselves

( I mean,why did I say yes to that foolish guy despite all the red flags?)

* God 

    We need to also forgive God. I mean ,where was God when I was going those pains.

   We need to forgive the offenders in our lives Not because the offenders deserve to be forgiven like my father.

   I forgave him some 6years ago a  turbulent time for me.

    We must forgive the offender simply because we want to move forward in our marital life

 D. Let Go!

   We just added this to our regimen hence making 5-way interventional therapy regimen

    We must be ready to let go of all our past pains

    In Conclusion

     The way into a matter or a problem is to enter it .

    There is no problem without a solution.

    We only need to ask the right questions

 A major one is what am I doing here on Earth ?

This question moves us automatically from the realm of why me ? To why not me? I rest my case here

 [5/9, 12:32] Participant: 👏👏

 [5/9, 12:32] @doctormichaels: Questions,comments, contributions,rebuke,beatings ,slaps When you do all these,you will discover the marital life crisis starts getting solved step by step with or without your help

 [5/9, 12:34] Participant: Hmmmm 

[5/9, 12:34] @doctormichaels: Effortlessly without any struggle or running up and down 

[5/9, 12:34] Participant: Yeah Lol

 [5/9, 12:34] Participant: I got a question sir

 [5/9, 12:34] @doctormichaels: But a professional help can be a good guide 

[5/9, 12:36] Participant: Can I take you back to the very beginning?

 [5/9, 12:36] @doctormichaels: Yes ma

 [5/9, 12:36] Participant: Thank you, sir

 [5/9, 12:36] @doctormichaels: Yes ma 

[5/9, 12:38) Participant: You mentioned your Dad, sir

 [5/9, 12:38] Participant: How do you mean, sir

 [5/9, 12:38] Participant: About him asking the wrong questions 

[5/9, 12:38] Participant: Network is hanging my messages😀 

[5/9, 12:38] @doctormichaels: Yes He must have asked why he got married to my mum

 [5/9, 12:38] Participant: Oh, okay. 

[5/9, 12:39] @doctormichaels: He must have asked all other questions except the all important master key questions 

[5/9, 12:39] @doctormichaels: Yes ma 

[5/9, 12:39] Participant: Are there possibilities that people (children) as product of broken home make good/happy home?? 

[5/9, 12:40] @doctormichaels: Yes they do 

[5/9, 12:40] Participant: Please kindly resend the link for registration 

[5/9, 12:40] @doctormichaels: But usually with professional help Because like me,they must have experienced Psychological trauma Which is not visible like the physical trauma

 [5/9, 12:41] Participant: True o 

[5/9, 12:42] @doctormichaels: So many of them indulge in a lot of things like sex, alcohol,drugs to cope with the trauma

 [5/9, 12:42] Participant: Hmmm thanks

 [5/9, 12:42] @doctormichaels: But since those things were not designed to deal with psychological trauma...they keep on going back With extreme of thinking, behavior and life style So they need what we call cognitive behavioral therapy.

     They need it before going into a relationship Before getting married. They will have trust issues Clingy Finding it difficult to strike a balance between depending on people and bring independent .They will have emotional outburst Uncontrollable Unstable relationships 

[5/9, 12:45] Participant: Hnmm 

[5/9, 12:45] @doctormichaels: Never trusting anyone including themselves,since they were disappointed by the first set of people they saw and met in life,that is,their parents Don't also forget that they also have the genes of their fathers and mother's So my father was or is a womanizer 

[5/9, 12:46] Participant: Chai

 [5/9, 12:46] Participant: Okay 

[5/9, 12:46] @doctormichaels: Since I'm his child and not a bastard I will also have the womanizing trait So a professional help should help to deal with all these issues before saying I love a lady or a guy Thank you for the beautiful questions

 [5/9, 12:48] Participant: But most times there is this fear of finding the right one or giving people a chance

 [5/9, 12:48] @doctormichaels: Yes That is also one of the symptoms

 [5/9, 12:49] Participant: So how will one deal with it 

[5/9, 12:49] @doctormichaels: First,that person before thinking of a relationship should work on the person in the mirror Chai!

     There are many questions you must ask that person o.

  The first group of questions

* Who am I?

* What is my life assignment? 

*Do I have a future and how do I explore my future possibilities? 

   The next set of questions:

* Why are my parents not together? 

* What happened?

    It's only a foolish,stupid and ignorant child that insults his or her parents on why they are no longer together

 [5/9, 12:52] Participant: Well, such child is in pains ni 

[5/9, 12:53] @doctormichaels: But a wise child will sit down with himself or herself and later sit with each parent and sincerely ask them for what happened Telling them you are asking for learning purposes Other questions are Why was I born into this family? etc

 [5/9, 12:54] @doctormichaels: A professional guide will really help such a child It's only a fool that will say yes to a guy or a girl that is yet to deal with the past psychological trauma Am i communicating? 

[5/9, 12:58] @doctormichaels: I hope I was of help I hope we helped someone today? 

[5/9, 12:59) Participant: What if they don't know the person has trauma? 

[5/9, 12:59] Participant: Yes o.Greatly sir 

[5/9, 12:59] @doctormichaels: I hope it has not been a waste of your time and data? 

[5/9, 12:59] Participant: Greatly sir 

[5/9, 12:59] @doctormichaels: Thank you ma Yes ma

 [5/9, 12:59] Participant: Noooooo 

[5/9, 12:59] @doctormichaels: Okay ma

 [5/9, 13:00] Participant: It's been worth it and thought provoking too😭😭😭😭

 [5/9, 13:00] Participant: Yes 

[5/9, 13:00] Participant: Oga o(that is serious).God help us.

 [5/9, 13:00] @doctormichaels: This class helps us now know what and what we are to investigate,probe ask questions about,test before saying I do And if married now ,they can still ask those questions since there is a professional help available Thank you sir 

[5/9, 13:01] Participant: Okay, sir Oh great! 

[5/9, 13:01] @doctormichaels: Great Wow! 

[5/9, 13:02] Participant: You made more than enough sense sef💪✌️🤗👍👍 thanks

 [5/9, 13:02] @doctormichaels: Thankyou ma 

[5/9, 13:02)Participant:Amen sir 

[5/9, 13:02] Participant: So I have to accept and embrace my "story"? 

[5/9, 13:03] @doctormichaels: So having money or being old enough is not the complete reason to show that we are ready

 [5/9, 13:03] Participant: Not all hmmmm 

[5/9, 13:03] @doctormichaels: They are important but one question is importanter 

[5/9, 13:03] +234 802 704 4730: Yeah thanks alot 

[5/9, 13:04] @doctormichaels: Please permit me to use that street word,importanter 

[5/9, 13:04] @doctormichaels: 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️ Oh thank you

 [5/9, 13:04] Participant: 👌🏽👌🏽

 [5/9, 13:04] @doctormichaels: Yes ma'am.Not all.So I talked about extremes Thank you sir You gorrit (you got )ma😁.

     It is our life purpose that now determines who we are going to get married to.

    It's suicidal to say yes to a man or ask a girl out who does not know what his or her life purpose is and who are they exactly.

  A friend is different from a life companion.

A friend only becomes a life companion if and only if that friend is going in our direction in life 

 [5/9, 13:08] Participant: Do u thinks illiteracy has a negative impact in starting a family 

[5/9, 13:08] @doctormichaels: Nope

 [5/9, 13:08] Participant: Gbam 

[5/9, 13:09] @doctormichaels: But it enhances a relationship Don't forget that there is a difference between education and literacy         Literacy is just paper, certificates,MBchB but education is the life application of your acquired knowledge in school to solving real life societal problems.

   Literacy has a   life span but education is forever .

     1. One must be in a relationship or marry someone who is a professional learner.

    The person must know and like reading because how will the person develop capacity without reading.

   2. Through books men and women of old pour out their souls into ours so that we repeating their exploits ,get more results than they did but help us not to make the same so-called mistakes they made.

 Did I answer your question? 

Two more ways in building capacity for life which is the 5th step in the management of marital crisis are the following :

   3.Apart from reading,  we must also have a thorough,sincere and  transparent relationship with God.

   There are certain things we will never know until we have done this 

  *The third is walk with the wise.

   You can't eat what Giants eat and remain a dwarf.

     Who says you can't be raw with God .

Who!!!! I challenge the person.

    You can tell Him anything and everything 

Yes I said so You can tell Him about the hawt gal you saw today. And the exact feeling you had Don't sugar coat it 

[5/9, 13:17] Participant: 😀

 [5/9, 13:1) Participant: And Most times One gets quick responses than a Professional 

[5/9, 13:17] Participant: Don't spiritualize it

 [5/9, 13:17] @doctormichaels: Say exactly what you saw And how you feel Have a boy talk or girl talk with Him

 [5/9, 13:18) Participant: 🤪🤪 

[5/9, 13:18] @doctormichaels: You will be shocked that He likes those kinds of gist 😉 Even if you are married You can tell Him about another person that you are having feelings for After God You can also talk to a professional He or she will not judge you Or condemn

 [5/9, 13:19] Participant: Jesus my lover man😄😄😄

 [5/9, 13:20] @doctormichaels: Yes ooooo

 [5/9, 13:20] Participant: 👍thanks

 [5/9, 13:21] @doctormichaels: Oh great More questions Comments

 [5/9, 13:23] Participant: 👍

 [5/9, 13:23] Participant: I've been there before👌🏻

 [5/9, 13:24] @doctormichaels: Thanks ma Oh thank you ma

 [5/9, 13:25] Participant: I have a question

 [5/9, 13:25] @doctormichaels: Okay ma 

[5/9, 13:26] Participant: Most times, i pray about things and they come to pass almost instantly but some, never change. So i thought to myself that maybe God wants me to take my hads off such issues and let him be God in my life. 

[5/9, 13:26] Participant: What if your purpose constantly get you in difficult situations Shouldn't you let such a purpose go? 

[5/9, 13:26] Participant: ? 

[5/9, 13:26] @doctormichaels: Okay ma.Thank you for this.

 Continuous and persistent understanding is needed. Because our life purpose is just one but it's multi layered,Multi dimensional and Multifaceted. 

     So it's something that unravels itself as we focus on it to understand it .

 [5/9, 13:29] Participant: You get it and even understand it but people tend to misunderstand

 [5/9, 13:29] @doctormichaels: As we understand it and follow...people that will assist and people that need it will find us 

[5/9, 13:29] Participant: Chai

 [5/9, 13:29] @doctormichaels: This is a confirmed statement It happens to everyone 

[5/9, 13:30] Participant: Amen

 [5/9, 13:30] Participant: Amen

 [5/9, 13:31] @doctormichaels: So what we suggest to our clients is that capacity building for life is necessary after therapy to be able to handle all issues and pressures that come with fulfilling one's life assignment .

    The capacity building for life is done through our self Actualization Courses Online and offline.

     The online is so powerful...same in impact as offline .

  People that don't understand our purpose will naturally fall off as we remain persistent in following our purpose While people we need will gravitate towards us.

     Did I answer your question ma? 

    Remember destiny is not EMOTIONAL or sentimental

 [5/9, 13:34] Participant: I like d sound of this [

5/9, 13:34] @doctormichaels: Oh great You will look for them...you won't find them 

[5/9, 13:35] Participant: Yes you did

 [5/9, 13:36] @doctormichaels: Oh great Here is the link to the feedback form

 [5/9, 13:44] Participant: I really enjoyed this class *especially* *discovering your* *purpose*

 [5/9, 13:44] @doctormichaels: Oh wow Thank you so much So who are the people that will help us summarize today's grand finale class Anyone ?2/3people or more Feel free to say anything

 [5/9, 13:52] Participant: Forgiving your self, your offender and your God so that you can heal and move on

 [5/9, 13:56] Participant: Solving the question of your Life's purpose make clear the puzzles of marital crisis and other crisis we will or have experienced 

[5/9, 14:15] Participant: You feel light and at peace with yourself afterwards

 [5/9, 14:15] @doctormichaels: Woooow Awesome Thank you ma

 [5/9, 15:07) Participant: Good question

 [5/9, 15:07] @doctormichaels: Yes sir Thank you sir

 [5/9, 15:09] Participant: Aw far 

[5/9, 15:15] Participant: Yes

 [5/9, 15:31] Participant: Wow!!!!! Have really learnt a lot today. Thank you for these priceless and unforgettable information. God bless you all

 [5/9, 16:01] Participant: Very true. Its been an enlightening session. Thanks very much for taking us through this. 

[5/9, 16:02] Participant: Thanks to everyone. Very grateful. 

[5/9, 16:09] @doctormichaels: Oh awesome.Thank you too ma Thank you ma

 [5/9, 16:48] Participant: Thanks so much for making my day. God bless you all. 

[5/9, 16:49] @doctormichaels: Oh great Good to hear 

  THE END

Doctor Michaels

Self Actualization and Personal Program