Dealing with fear,anxiety and uncertainty

 Wow!Episode 13 Mindshift program(Dealing with Emotional Trauma)on petals 102.3Fm we  ended up talking about handling fear,anxiety and uncertainty not only in our individual lives and families but also as a country.The highlight : Our problem is not just the fact that we don't have a Nigerian Dream but also that many individuals and families don't have dreams,visions,mission statements of their own that they are currently working with.

I am optimistic about the Nigerian project!

Episode 13: Hi Doctor Michaels, I am afraid of success,failure and uncertainty.I get scared of stepping out to achieving my goals in life.What should I do ? Is this normal ?

INTRODUCTION 

         Thankyou for your question .

        Fear in a matter is a negative,reactive emotion to a  danger due to a knowledge defect on that particular matter 

     Fear is also a natural reflex response to a real physical danger such as a lion entering the house where you live.

   It prepares or propels you for the quickest strategy in escaping the danger or failure or uncertainty. 

Being afraid of success may be because you have been told sometimes in the past ,probably by someone you hold in high esteem that success makes people misbehave or die early.Ofcourse this is not true.

      Fear is a negative,reactive emotion resulting from a knowledge defect with resultant physical outcome.

    Its so powerful.It does not stop once it gains access into a person...it continues till it gains full ,complete control over the person...ultimately ruining the life of the victim.

  Ofcourse,fear could be a good thing(response) and also a bad(reaction) depending on the situation.

   

   Uncertainty  is a state or situation of chaos that has refused all kinds of solutions.The future or present  seem dark and cloudy...seems to be full of unpleasant occurrences where one is not sure of its eventual outcome or aftermath.

   Anxiety is a feeling that comes up when there is uncertainty.

  Also bear in mind that fear,uncertainty and anxiety  as well as worry are related and are all negative emotions. 

Fear propels us into taking the needed action.

    However,fear becomes dangerous if we allow it to linger. Once we have identified the danger alert from fear...we need to send it packing as we also find a lasting solution to the danger itself.We must treat fear as a guest whose has overstayed its welcome.

   

    Sir/Ma,the enemy is within and not outside.The enemy within opens the door to the its soldiers outside.The enemy within is called FEAR


      Fear,like a virus,is contagious& spreads very fast.It won't stop till it gains complete control of the victim& turns to ruins.

     Understanding the nature and operation of the enemy(fear) is crucial in a battle or during a life challenge.

   

    In dealing with fear ,5 steps are needed. 

1. Relax and be calm...remember that our minds,especially the subconscious mind works best when not under pressure

2. Identify the threat regardless of whether it is real or perceived.

      If a physical danger,get yourself to safety.

If a psychological threat, get a place where you can be alone or away from the immediate source of danger. The aim is to move from more damaging information and subsequent aftermath.

        Ascertain if the danger is a real or perceived threat or danger by carrying out a lot of research.

       Ofcourse,whether it is real or not,the same approach will be employed.

     Throughout your research,find out the source of the knowledge defect that gave rise to the fear. 

Find out the primary and secondary (immediate/recent source).

     For example,was it a particular news I heard or our culture or the voice of our parents in the past or a friend that is constantly harassing me or body shaming me or my parents or teachers or spouse or romantic friend  or religious  leader or an authority figure constantly threatening me or abusing me physically, verbally or sexually hence getting me agitated, fearful,anxious etc.

An example of a knowledge defect are the following 

* All men are the scum...(this is not true)

*All women are scum (also not true)

* You cannot be truly happy in marriage (also not true)

Etc

3. Identify the aftermaths or consequences or complications that have resulted from such knowledge defect.

  The aftermaths range from marital challenges, divorce,withdrawal, loneliness,poor academic performance, health issues etc 

4.Develop capacity and training in dealing with the knowledge defect(finding out if they are true or not ourselves.If they are false,we need to find out what the true knowledge is and feed our minds with the true knowledge that we have discovered ourselves .

5. Deal with the problems caused by the knowledge defect. 

Find lasting solutions to the identified problems.

You can employ the help of a professional in Talking Therapy to finding a lasting solution.

6. Get yourself prepared for the next challenge by developing yourself through having a transparent relationship with God,reading books(audio or written or both ),good company of friends that challenge,inspire and motivate you and lastly but not the least,be a professional learner,always asking questions,be curious,inquisitive, ready to learn.

All these steps will help you master your fear.

If you need a guide in mastering your fear ,then you can join our Fear Mastery  Program today by calling/WhatsApp +2348141630817 

Doctor Michaels, 

Self Actualization and Personal Therapy Program